whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
