I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
