was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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