I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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