we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
