i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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