Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
