tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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