Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
