All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
