How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
