im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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