420 ftw
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
