Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
