It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
