I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
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YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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