im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
