my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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