Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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