i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
