who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
