pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
