I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize