guys are not supposed to queef...right?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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