And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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