my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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