He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize