just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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