I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
