So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
