My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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