SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
