I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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