My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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