I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
