i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
