who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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