I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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