First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she told me i tasted like america
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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