Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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