Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Found the puke drawer
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month