this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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