Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.