Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex

(404): View more from Georgia

Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut

(770): View more from Georgia

Fuck. Wron person. But yea

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(770): Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex (404): Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut (770): Fuck. Wron person. But yea http://tfl.nu/bsak

Replies (26) Good night (1827) Bad night (3480)
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(925): View more from California

upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday

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(925): upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday http://tfl.nu/ne1r

Replies (42) Good night (3062) Bad night (603)
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(650): View more from California

just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.

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(650): just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight. http://tfl.nu/nhc3

Replies (47) Good night (1079) Bad night (4428)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober

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(717): you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober http://tfl.nu/nwgl

Replies (10) Good night (4982) Bad night (619)
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(845): View more from New York

I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.

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(845): I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey. http://tfl.nu/3eol

Replies (12) Good night (1158) Bad night (3973)
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(303): View more from Colorado

this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.

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(303): this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now. http://tfl.nu/u25e

Replies (13) Good night (829) Bad night (4559)
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(303): View more from Colorado

She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.

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(303): She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga. http://tfl.nu/aid2

Replies (6) Good night (2609) Bad night (612)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place

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(814): She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place http://tfl.nu/x3gi

Replies (5) Good night (1848) Bad night (601)
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(216): View more from Ohio

another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.

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(216): another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night. http://tfl.nu/i20t

Replies (2) Good night (1878) Bad night (809)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie

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(612): Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie http://tfl.nu/901f

Replies (4) Good night (2421) Bad night (741)
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(585): View more from New York

Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.

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(585): Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent. http://tfl.nu/ihl8

Replies (3) Good night (1550) Bad night (603)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits

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(410): I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits http://tfl.nu/1cr3

Replies (5) Good night (727) Bad night (881)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

And the results, officer?

(401): View more from Rhode Island

She's fucked.

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(401): I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle. (978): And the results, officer? (401): She's fucked. http://tfl.nu/1koh

Replies (6) Good night (1052) Bad night (298)
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(541): View more from Oregon

If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.

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(541): If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience. http://tfl.nu/ojxm

Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (198)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.

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(502): I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation. http://tfl.nu/96ys

Replies (3) Good night (150) Bad night (355)

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