If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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