All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize