At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
