I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
