It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
