Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
40s are totally the cure
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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