Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just cropdusted the office
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
