Swine flu is the new snow day.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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