you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
