From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
