drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
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While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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