i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
