What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
