I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
