Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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