Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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