lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
