Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wish life had little blips of pornography
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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