I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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