Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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