I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
