I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
