Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Found the puke drawer
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
