Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR